Panglao, snorkeling and friends

Fresh from vacation, I put off writing about my wonderful experience in Bohol. Partly it was because, having come from a break, urgent work piled up and partly, because I had to take some time to let all the memories sink in. It was surreal, like it happened in a dream and I would’ve believed it was a dream if not for my sun-burned skin (yes, I became darker) and an abrasion on my heel (from walking on corals without aqua shoes).

Two of my closest friends, Dette and Hya, and their significant others came with me, Dennis and Fernan. We went first to Cebu to visit/fetch Mark and off we went to Bohol.

First on the agenda was the 7-point tour…Chocolate Hills, Loboc River Cruise, Blood Compact Shrine, Hinagdanan Cave, Baclayon Church, mingling with the Tarsiers, the Hanging Bridge. We went through it just in one day. An airconditioned van, plenty of water, our handy digital cameras were all we needed, really.

Next we were brought to Panglao Island. Despite some minor inconveniences (a room with just an electric fan in the midst of sweltering heat), we rested and looked forward to a day of fun.

And what fun it was! From renting a bangka and snorkeling in Balicasag Island, to eating lunch of freshly caught fish and squid (for only 135 pesos), to discovering Puntod Island and feeling like Jessica Soho, to capping it off with a dinner in Panglao fit for 20 people.

My experience in Bohol was not without its tampos and petty fights (mostly between Mark and me --- we didn’t fight face to face for so long, we had to do it just for the sake of doing it). But the trip was just time spent with good friends and people I loved in a place that was simply God’s gift to vacationing humans…and that made it perfect.

gift of kids

Last Friday was my late birthday blow-out to my friends in Miriam Grade School (3 teachers who shared with me each schoolyear’s UPS and MANY DOWNS --- nothing cements friendships better than battles fought together). Conversations over pasta and a giant cookie centered around life in Miriam…and I realized it was a life I really missed.

They were talking about their ups and downs as teachers, the normal everyday things I used to complain about and I imagined myself worrying about the same thing, still. Being a teacher is not an easy life, that’s for sure. The stress of checking papers and writing lesson plans, the stress of not earning enough, the tension from the administration, the quarrels among co-teachers…But looking at my friends, and despite hearing about their complaints, I knew also that their hearts were very fulfilled because of each child that they come into contact with every single day. I know because I had it once before.

Being with children and just watching them grow up is a feeling that can’t be beat. Your life is just full of purpose and meaning that you survive the stress that comes with it. Each day brings something new and you see the world around you with fresh eyes, through your children’s eyes. Plus, it’s much more comfortable to live with children rather than adults, there’s less effort and pretense.

I talked with Mark the other day and he told me what I knew all along, that he wanted t go back to teaching. And I’m one to admit that I want to go back, too.
Add to the damage was that I went and visited Kiaw and Gab (Mark’s nephew and niece) over the weekend and was absolutely and perpetually amused and overjoyed by their being. Kids do that to me: make me feel that the world is a better place. I guess that’s why I was able to stay at Miriam for three whole years and have nothing but fond memories.

My life as a teacher is a life I miss but I also am happy with the decisions I made in my life. Joining the corporate workforce has opened many opportunities for growth and has made me grow. Period.

I’ve learned more about myself during this past year and a half. I work in training, therefore seldom is work routinary. You meet employees of Meralco far and wide. You listen to inspiring teachers (while fondly remembering that I was once like that). And at this point in my life, I am afforded a different kind of life…able to give money to my parents and save enough for my dreams.

I guess God brings us to certain moments in our lives, to certain places that is where you’re supposed to be. And we’re called to make good in every moment, to prepare us in travelling further along our journeys.

I will not discount my dream to go back to kids. I WILL go back, one way or another. In the meantime, I am grateful to be where I am and grateful for where I may be in the future.

what love is

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

- Captain Corelli's Mandolin

One of the most beautiful and challenging episodes that has ever happened to me is loving another person. And I mean that in the truest meaning of the word “love”.

It is beautiful because, automatically, every moment of your life --- be it the most irritating or the most mundane, ordinary event --- can be shared with that one person. I discovered that there was so much of the world that I appreciated more ever since.

You also get to share the best parts of yourself...the more patient, giving, understanding and tolerant parts of you. You get to share, without shame or embarrassment, your stories and histories, your dreams and your future. And I discovered that the more I liked him, the better I liked myself.

Loving also, can make us grow outwards from ourselves. It expands all possibilities, showing you more of what you can do and achieve. You are no longer just one person who can accomplish something. But also be that person who encourages another being to become more. This constant encouragement from both sides (and probably the security felt that in case you fall face flat on the ground, somebody will wipe the dirt off your face) makes boundaries for you both seemingly nonexistent.

Love is challenging, too, because when most of the kilig and novelty and romance have gone, you have to work doubly harder to make sure that your commitment stays true. It’s not always that you love another person with the same intensity each and everyday. There may be times that are SO frustrating that walking away would be the much easier thing to do. But true love helps you stay put, not out of pity, but in anticipation of better times (love also gives you this hope that there WILL be better times).

And how does stay committed, how can you stay put? By constantly rediscovering those small things that you like about him. And no matter how long you’ve been together, I think, there will always be that little something --- a moment or a smile or a word --- that will speak of love. And that little something, multiplied by a million thoughts of forgiveness (for both him and yourself), is what will keep your relationship afloat. Love works because it is ALWAYS kind enough to give us the chance to change ourselves and become better people.

Lastly, because of love, I’ve learned to laugh and smile more. (Probably cry, too, but what counts is that there is always a smile at the end.) Laugh at the world and laugh, mostly, at myself. Because I think that love is ultimately kind and takes the world lightly.

I never thought I NEEDED to love somebody. But when it did come, I discovered a life richer in meaning and experience. And whatever the ending is, I will be forever grateful.

walking at Marikina Sports Complex

I am a walker.

There is something about waking up early on a Saturday morning, getting in your most comfortable rubber shoes and enjoying the rising sun while walking.

I anticipate this day, more than any other, because walking, well, relaxes me. I maybe tired from a busy workweek, and further tired from the exercise. Nevertheless, my Saturday morings keep my body relaxed and my soul nourished.

Last Saturday was the usual busy day at the Complex, families, grandparents, serious athletes, teenagers were all walking, jogging or running. It seemed as though everyone was there. There was an aerobics class on the left side of the field, while an arnis exercise on the right. And there I was, in the midst of it all, and I was happy.

I can think of a dozen reasons why I love this ritual: time for myself, anticipation of a delicious breakfast and most of the weekend ahead, comfort of strangers, the exercise, the noise of togetherness, the smell of grass, the quiet drive to Marikina.

But best of all, while I'm walking, the sun slowly shines on my face and warms everything around me. And this maybe in fact, the reason why I do this: on Saturday mornings, I absolutely relish the hope that the new sunshine brings. Keeps me looking forward to every Saturday :)

26

I am now 26 years and 4 days old.

Last Monday, I commemorated my 26 years of existence by doing two things: sleep and clean my room.
This break from the usual day-long celebration was unplanned, but still welcome. Having been from a hetic workweek and looking forward to another one. Not to mention a possible take-over or stepping-down of a president, staying put in my room was the best decision to make.

Besides, having so much time to myself gave me time to think about my life so far.

Things Newly Rediscovered About My Life OR Lessons Learned:
1. Family is everything.
2. Solitude is a gift you owe to yourself once in a while.
3. In small things we find great joys.
4. Passion for the things you do is crucial to make a life.
5. We should be like dogs: always forgetful of past hurts.
6. There's nothing like good coffee or a warm hug to chase away all worries.
7. Children can teach how to live our lives.
8. Being with old friends remind you about the parts of yourself that you really liked.
9. Spending for books will never be a waste of money.
10. There's always something to learn from people around you.

What do I have to show for my 26 years?
Not much. I'm in my second year at my third job (and still searching for that passion); I'm not married and I don't have kids yet. I haven't built a house or owned a car.

But, I've been kind, have forgiven and asked for forgiveness, have travelled to more places than I could've imagined. And I've loved. Having said that, my 26 years has been full.

:)