being there

Somebody wrote an essay, as she was diagnosed with cancer, outlining the things she would've chosen to do if given another chance. One of these was "Work less."

Hmmm, if she had another chance to live life over, she would've left work at exactly 5PM and went on to enjoy the other parts, perhaps the more meaningful parts of her life.

When I was young, I was never wanting of attention from my parents. My mom was a government employee and because she had reached a certain position, she needed to travel a lot. I vaguely remember her trips to the US and Europe. I also just remember her six-month stay in Philadelphia because of those early Saturday mornings our dad would make us write cards and letters (on onion skin paper - so that it would weigh less and thus, be cheaper) and we would head off to Tita Unti's house to get Mom's salary. I also see souvenirs from my Mom's trips all around, wall artifacts from Chile and Argentina, pictures in front of the Louvre and other places I only read about in Araling Panlipunan, so I know she must've gone there.

But never in my mind did I feel that she left me. I guess it was because for the other days she wasn't overseas, my mom took us to school at 7AM and picked us up at 5PM. Everyday.

And of course, in between those periods that Mom was away or at work, Dad was always there. He cooked for us, reminded us of our homeworks, bought project materials with us. He was even our school bus later on, when I was in college.

Imagine how sheltered and loved we were. It was either Mom or Dad or even BOTH of them, all the time, with us.

And now that I'm married and looking forward to having kids, I know I want my kids to feel that way too, about our family.

I told Mark one time of one team leader in the company who did not want to be promoted because he knew his priorities. I asked him what his was. And he said, family, like me. (No wonder I married him.)

I believe it when I read that life is here to take and there are certain things just more important than money or prestige. I don't want to regret the choices I make in my life. I want my kids, in the future, to be able to say that when they needed their parents they were there.

I want to be able to say, in the end, that I knew what was important and that I showed it.

in between

After the excitement and stress of the wedding, things have finally settled down. I feel more grounded and sanay to wake up to somebody next to me. I haven't got the 'wife' thing pat down yet --- sometimes I forget to pack up my husband's clothes and I even use my own bag --- but I think I'll get there.

Mark and I are in the state of in-between...all the time. We don't have a house yet so we shuttle between my parents' house in Antipolo and Mama's house in Fairview. We have clothes in the two houses. My mom has reserved towels and kumot for us when we sleep there. We have our own towels here in Fairview.

In some ways, it's a bit tiring...we can't call any home really ours although we've become more comfortable in them after two months.

This state of in-between has good in it. We get pampered anywhere we go, at miss kami ng bawat pamilya habang wala kami. Mama cooks our favorite food when we're at her house, the same goes for Daddy and Mommy. Any house we go to, it's just happiness to be together again.

However, we can't be like this forever. Time will come that we have to have our own home, where we can build our own family. We've been looking and I really think we'll have our own lot (at least) by the end of the year.

Until that time comes, though, we're happily stuck in-between!